


your ex-lover is dead

by citruscake



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mentioned Dong Si Cheng | WinWin, Past Relationship(s), post-cowboy crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 10:19:45
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17526923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/citruscake/pseuds/citruscake
Summary: Five years after their first meeting, and four years after their relationship, Kun and Taeil meet on a rainy day.based off of the song your ex-lover is dead, by stars





	your ex-lover is dead

**Author's Note:**

> hi ~ before you read this i suggest reading COWBOY CRUSH and the kunil au i posted on twitter, located here: https://twitter.com/_seojohnny/status/1059903782396424192
> 
> this au takes place 5 years after kunil au, and well.. things didn't end well for them. 
> 
> :(

When there's nothing left to burn, you have to set yourself on fire.

 

Kun lets out a deep sigh as he exits work with Sicheng, eager to go straight home and catch up on his rest. It's been a long week at work, full of stressful revisions and tight deadlines. Both he and Sicheng stood outside of their company building, the latter checking his phone for notifications.

 

"Oh, he's going to be showing up soon!" Sicheng exclaims, locking his phone and placing it in his pocket. Kun notices his expression has immediately brightened up.

 

"Who's coming?" He asks. He wasn't aware Sicheng was going to be hanging out with someone tonight, and bites his tongue at the missed chance to invite him home for some wine.

 

"One of my good friends. You might recognize him." Sicheng offers a smile, and as if on cue a figure walks up to them.

 

Kun's stomach drops as he recognizes the person in front of him. Immediately, memories of the previous years flash through his mind, memories of both good and bad.

 

He hasn’t changed one bit since the last time he saw him, almost five years ago. He still has that dangly earring, that glasses chain, that oversized denim jacket. Still has that gentle smile, the calm demeanor, and the teasing look in his eyes. But something is missing.. Something he quite can't remember.

 

Kun blinks, and forces a polite smile. "Ah, yes, I think we've met before."

 

He offers a hand to Kun, who takes it and shakes gently. In that moment, he feels something wet touch his thumb, and he looks up. Rain begins pouring from the sky, as if the heavens knew.

 

If Sicheng could read the atmosphere, he didn't show it. "Oh shit! It's raining. Let's call a cab so we're not stuck walking in this."

 

"It's alright, I don't mind walking home." the writer tries his best to get out of the situation, but then he weighs in.

 

"Please don't. You could get sick walking home in this rain."

 

Kun pauses, realizing that even after four years, he still can't resist that voice, attached to the man who gave him so much trouble in his last year of college. The voice of the man who gave him even more trouble after they graduated together.

 

He nods, and Sicheng hails a cab. The three get in, and Sicheng directs them to Kun's apartment building. For the duration of the ride, he says nothing, choosing instead to stare out the window and watch the rain fall.

 

He doesn't catch his gaze of concern.

 

"So Taeil, how have you been? It's been a while since we last hung out."

 

Ah, that was his name.

 

Taeil.

 

How could he forget?

 

He closes his eyes and he's brought back to their last year of college, to that night on the farm. The whispers between the two of them, the promise made.

 

I promise I won't hurt you.

 

And for the first few months, that's how it was. Taeil didn't hurt him. And it was precisely the fact that Taeil did nothing, not even hurt him, that drove Kun to breaking up with him. He was only a seed, ready to bloom into a beautiful flower, and Taeil was the astronomer posing as a gardener, who knew nothing about how to nurture and care for a plant.

 

 

He's pulled out of his memories by the sound of Taeil's voice, quietly conversing with Sicheng. Something seems different about him now. He seems more observant, more empathetic. It makes Kun wonder what things would be like if they were still together today, if he hadn't suddenly cast him out on that fateful day four years ago.

 

Maybe they had met at the wrong time, in the wrong place.

 

Kun's gaze returns to the outdoors, and he sees that they're about to pull up to his building. He straightens his back and prepares to exit the cab.

 

"Well, this is my stop.. Thank you for the ri-" he motions to open the door, but stops dead in his tracks at the sound of that voice.

 

"Kun."

 

He finally looks to Taeil, eyes meeting. He sees the sadness in the latter's eyes.

 

"Please let me walk you. I have an umbrella."

 

He hesitates, mentally flipping a coin. It lands on heads and he squeezes his eyes shut.

 

"Fine."

 

Sicheng looks up to Taeil in confusion, but he just gestures to him to wait. The two get out of the car, walking in silence to the front door of Kun's building.

 

"Kun, I-"

 

"Save it." Kun says firmly, effectively shutting Taeil up. He turns to stare Taeil in the eyes.

 

"I only have one thing to say to you, and I'm going to say it now. Please be quiet, and just listen to me."

 

Taeil's mouth closes, and he blinks, dumbfounded by Kun's sudden burst of bravery.

 

"Taeil. The time we were together was great. But it's over. You were what I wanted, and then you weren't, and you sure aren't now."

 

He exhales. Taeil starts, "Kun, I've changed since then."

 

Kun holds up a hand for him to stop. "Moon Taeil. I'm not sorry I met you. I'm not sorry it's over. And I'm not sorry that there's nothing to save."

 

Taeil is silent.

 

"Have a good night."

 

Kun turns and enters the building, leaving Taeil standing in the rain.

 

He doesn't look back.


End file.
